Painting commissioned to Rachael Mayo, copyright 2010
I had no idea what I was going to write about 5 minutes ago, when I felt the desire to write my first blog of 2011… so I thought, “Hmm… funny, I feel like writing a blog… these past two weeks alone have been HUGE for me, there’s just SO MUCH to write about; the question is, what’s the best topic to cover right now?”
While I was chewing on that, scanning through some ideas in my head, I brought my laptop out to my kitchen, started a new post… looked at the screen for a few moments, then thought I’d write after I went to work out.
I got halfway down the hall to my elliptical when it came to me, clear as day:
Setting resolutions are setting your path; you know a LOT about that now, don’t you?
So, I stopped short, sighed, and turned around – workout delayed until I share the entire “picture” that was handed to me between that point in the hallway and the walk back to the kitchen and my laptop.
Because, you see, it’s perfect.
By now, everyone’s heard the “You create your own reality” packaged in a zillion different ways… it’s almost become cliche. Same with “Ask and you shall receive.” Where I am right now – and now, I truly know, to the very depths – is that both of those statements are true to such a huge, huge degree that you’d really have to sit and read months of my journal to get what I’m talking about, from my perspective and experience.
But I’ll see if I can encapsulate it as beautifully here as it was done in my head a few moments ago – between my hallway and my kitchen.
2009 was when my first, true glimpse of the Universe fell open to me; I began to see and understand things that I’d never even known I should wonder about! The more I learned and reflected back on since then, the more I realize I was prepping myself for my entire life leading up to that day (which I will never forget)… and how many hints and blatant smacks on the back of my head told me what was coming. It’s really pretty funny!
As I’ve started helping others go through this, as well, almost every single person I work with at some point tells me, “Wow, I wish I could experience ______ or ______ like you do…” I smile – and sometimes even laugh – every single time someone says that to me, because my response pops out before I even think about it: “Well, hold on to your hat… you sure will be before you know it!” With the changing energies of the world around us today, I believe it’s an inevitable evolution… in a very short period of time…. but that’s a blog for another day.
More times than not, I get a shaky smile back, coupled with a disbelieving look. However, within months, I typically see that person simply blossom, and always think back to the person they were when I started talking to them.
When I set my goals for 2010, I did so with the fresh perspective I had started to gain in 2009; however, as I’m letting the potential of 2011 and the highest and best path for me gel into my consciousness, one thing comes back to me, time and time again: Wow. I’m a completely different person today, and I see the world in a completely different way than I have over the course of my entire life.
That’s as close as I can come to explaining it. You know how sometimes when you read a book or a series of books, and you get to the last chapter or the 3rd book in the series and somewhere down the line, you think, “Wow… this character has changed SO MUCH since the first book!” For example, say… um… Harry Potter? Frodo Baggins (from Lord of the Rings series of books, if you don’t know Tolkien)? That’s what I know when I look in the mirror, and inside of myself today… and this has happened within 2 years!
It’s like within this compressed time, I’ve traveled through about 3 books of worlds, realities, and journeys, and have a tremendous addition of insight and ability – especially to help others – yet, as far as I’ve already come in that period of time, I know I’m just getting ready to set off on “the big journey”… like I’m on Book 3 of a 7, 8, or 10 book series!
You know, as an aside, this really makes me laugh – I love it when I surprise myself with this kind of self-realization! I just used books as a metaphor for my journey thus far… and as far back as I remember, I have been voracious about reading and soaking in stories. Seriously; if a book gets my interest – I mean, REALLY gets my interest – I’ll tear through it in days, sometimes one day, sometimes in hours. Regardless of the very busy schedule I maintain today, if I want to get through a book, I will stay up late, get up extra early, or simply find the time to squeeze in the reading… because I just can’t wait! Take the last Harry Potter book, for example… I waited impatiently for the book to be delivered to my doorstep on the day of release (it had been pre-ordered months before), and then I checked out of everything else… and stayed up all night reading it (I finished at about 7am the next morning).
My realization a moment ago: That’s exactly how I’ve approached what I call my Grand Awakening, since 2009, along with my burgeoning abilities and experiences!
ALL IS PERFECT.
I get that popping into my head a lot these days… and it’s amazing how much I’ve realized how perfect everything really is. Everything.
Let me back up a moment as I start emoting here… I have many people look at me when I say something like what I just said, and they make a face, or give me some sort of snort, or something, and say, “Yeah, well… I’m glad it’s going well for you…” Others may say, “Well, what about __________?” (You fill in the blank – the family who has lost a child, the person who lost everything in the Haiti earthquake, the list goes on...)
So, before you do the same (if you haven’t already), I’m going to tell you this: When I say all is perfect, I’m talking about in the grand scope of things. If you look at anything through the microscope, would you be able to find what some would call issues? Difficulties? Definitely; in fact, 10 years ago, if I would have read some of what I’ve experienced at the personal level through this, the “old me” would have sighed and think, “Good GRIEF! That STINKS! How painful/How stressful/How scary…” I would bet you every last cent that had I been approached – by an angel, Genie, Guide, God/Spirit, or whom- or whatever – and told about the awesomeness that I can now see in the world and our existence, and the true magnificence of what is to come and why… BUT FIRST, to do this, I would have to take the path of all of that other personal stuff over the past decade… I would’ve said, “Why is there always a ‘BUT’ attached??” and would have needed to think about it, long and hard.
You know what? That’s only because at the time, I didn’t understand the bigger picture. It was like being in a beautiful house on the cliff overlooking the ocean at sunset… but not having any windows along the wall with the view, and being locked inside.
If I lost perspective – and that truly is the big word here – it would be easy for me to snort, roll my eyes, or make a snide comment about “Yeah, well… the good always come with bad attached…” or “Great victory comes from great pain…” or whatever. You get the point. I could go into how many things I’ve had to work through, how many days I just went numb from being overwhelmed, or how many times I went to bed and tossed and turned all night because I was upset, confused, torn, or scared by something.
There have definitely been some challenging moments – and life events that have taken place when I could’ve scratched my head, thrown in the towel, and obsessed about the answer to “Why ME?” – especially before I really started to understand why certain things happen, and in actuality, how perfectly the jigsaw puzzle pieces really do fit together. However, even with the inclusion of some of the more jarring pieces of understanding that have popped into the puzzle – including some as far back as my teens and early 20s – once everything got dusted off and placed into the picture, I could actually see how it all fits… even in the future!
Here’s the way I look at it: Do you think the butterfly complains about the time it spent as a caterpillar, or while it was in the chrysalis before it emerged? Do you think it complains about not being able to find enough food, always being hungry, not having those beautiful wings, maybe even feeling like the awkward, ugly duckling before it became such a vision of beauty? Just imagine: “Good grief, I couldn’t stand myself… some of my friends and family got killed… I was always hungry… then I was so cramped… I couldn’t see anything… I got all itchy… I missed my friends and family… I got so hungry… :::sigh::: It stinks to be me…”
I doubt it!
At the end of 2009, one of my New Year’s resolutions going into 2010 was To conquer a fear that REALLY scares me. At the time, I remember being hard-pressed to think of any fear I really had… because I’ve always loved “living outside of my box.”
You know what? I spent quite a bit of time thinking about it. Do you know the only thing I could think of at the time? Rope bridges. Seriously! I love heights; I feel exhilarated standing at the top of a mountain or cliff; love the challenge of many, many things… and the only thing I could think of that absolutely paralyzed me was standing on a rope bridge. For some reason, it terrified me.
I remember talking with a friend of mine on the phone when I decided on that. She’s scared of heights, period – I told her to come along with me, learn to enjoy the view, and I would walk back and forth over that rope bridge a hundred times, if I had to, until it became second nature. She told me, “Sure… I’ll just get my hands on 2 or 3 Xanax… maybe a beer…” (I told her, “Oh yeah… that’s a good combination with heights, huh?” LOL)
You know, until this morning, I hadn’t thought about that for quite awhile.
You know what? I did it, though… proverbially. I didn’t get to the mountain out in Western NC where I wanted to do this exercise, but I sure have found many, many deep-rooted fears, resentments, rejections, and regrets that I didn’t even know I had buried… and tromped all over them, until they became “Nuthin’ but a thang…” I can’t tell you how freeing that has been – even though I didn’t even know they were there!
Oh… and by the way… along the line of my journey since, how perfect that one of the many past life experiences that have popped up – almost completely randomly, at a fun, group past life regression party with friends – was a life as a boy in the Swiss Alps, when – at 16 years of age, on a mountaineering expedition with my father of that lifetime, I fell right through a rope bridge (playing around on it) to my death. Take THAT as you will, whatever you believe… but I’ve come to terms with it, released it, and though I haven’t had the opportunity, I am completely confident that when I do make it to a physical, tried-and-true rope bridge (and I will do that soon, I’m sure), I’ll be able to cross it without fear, and without panic.
So many lessons learned.
As we embark on this magnificent journey into 2011 and beyond, we must STRETCH ourselves beyond all limits to move outside of our comfort zone… because NOW is the time to do so!
And because I know you’re wondering, I’m going to share… here’s MY resolution for 2011:
I’m setting sights on the horizon for the next exciting leg of my journey; I’ve learned the fundamentals, the theory, the technicalities, and the map-reading, and I’ve learned how to take in the magnificent view; so now I’m going to trust that I will find the highest, best path that will take me to even newer, more magnificent heights… and with perfect grace and ease, I’m going to fly!
But first things first… my elliptical calls to me…
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