PREFACE to my NC to NM Journey: Launching Off the Cliff

“Change yourself to change the world around you; not just in small ways, but large ones. Make a new you – become who you really are – and your new existence will follow..” ~Krishna

The quote above came to me by the ethereal blue master himself, in meditation not just two weeks ago. I honestly haven’t had a lot of “connection” with Krishna in the past; my first experience was through a guided meditation in my Shamballa Healing class in early fall of 2010 (see my page on Krishna under the Angel Guides/Ascended Masters section). But in the few times I have experienced a “visit” from him, I find it comparable to conversations Alice had with the Caterpillar in Wonderland… I feel like I should take a puff from the hookah pipe…  but the words are very meaningful and perceptive!

Anyway, to the point: I’ve felt like I’m just on the verge of a “next step,” but treading water. A little frustrated at the treading, I’ve been searching for the root of the cause.

I’d been waffling on whether or not I should go to New Mexico, to a 2-day retreat with Kiesha Crowther, aka Little Grandmother. Now, there’s a little side story here that leads into all of this, that definitely feeds in…. Though I’ve known of “Little Grandmother” for more than a year now, and I generally agree with much she has to say (I’ve seen several of her Webcasts), she wasn’t necessarily someone I felt compelled to meet in any way. I mean, it’s been great to see her Webcasts, as a reinforcement to many of the “messages” I’ve been receiving (as well as quite a few others I know); but, that was all. If she had a presentation scheduled in my geographical area, would I go to see her? A definite maybe.

However, sometime around the Fall of 2010, seemingly out of nowhere in meditation one day, I heard that I was going to work together with the woman called Little Grandmother. I was like, “Hunh?” It was repeated, and I heard some more; I journaled it, but I was quite perplexed… because I otherwise felt no tie to her. So, I basically shrugged it off after writing about it in my journal… and forgot about it for the time being.

Sometime around the holidays of 2010, it came up again in meditation, completely blindsiding me. Again, I was like, “What? I don’t get it…” So I did the same thing; I journaled about it and filed it away for later reference.

I never mentioned these messages to anyone.

Shortly after the holidays, early on in 2011, a good friend (another who is very involved in spirituality and healing) and I were “chatting” online, and seemingly out of nowhere, told me, “Do you know the lady they call ‘Little Grandmother’?” After I answered yes, she said, “I’ve been ‘told’ to tell you that it’s important that you will meet her and do some type of work together.”

Even with all that’s happened over the past year-and-a-half, all of the synchronicities… I was shocked. I laughed, and it was then that I told her about the messages that I had gotten before then. At that point, I was actually able to “see” a meeting with her, one on one, sometime in the near future… as friends. I told my friend about it… but then, for the third time, I filed it away for later reference.

The fourth time was the charm.

Yet several months later, in March, there my friend and I were, “chatting” online again, and she brought it up. “You know… I’m again getting the message that you should try to meet that woman Little Grandmother, now vs. later. I understand it works positively either way, but laying the ground now will be very helpful in some way, later.”

I remember sitting at my computer, and reading her comment. I think I literally rolled my eyes, because I felt like, “OK, OK!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!! What’s up with this?!” We went back and forth about it; without a lot of further detail, I will just say that a series of subsequent conversations resulted in the conversation that pushed me into looking at Little Grandmother’s Website… her event calendar… and the listing for this workshop in Santa Fe; it was the ONLY event listed in the United States for 2011, and in the beginning of May.

So, in the midst of  many, many other events going on in my life – 2 businesses, and an endless stream of goings on with my family, many loose ends I had been trying to tie up to move forward  – I considered going to New Mexico.

At the same time, I thought it was a little off the wall to consider… maybe even crazy.

I asked, “Am I just trying to put off the rest of this?” Though my mind tried to say yes, my heart actually felt just the opposite; that if I didn’t go, I would be letting the mundane, day-to-day semantics allow me to  put off something inevitable, something that for some reason is supposed to help me finally move forward.

So, this debate was going on within me. When I asked in meditation, I felt this inexplicable push towards going. It made absolutely no sense logically; yet it felt pure and honest… and right.

It was then that Krishna popped up while I was in my “floaty” state in acupuncture that week (I do ALL kinds of astral travel when I’m pinned on the table in acupuncture… I get some of the CLEAREST visions there!); I was navigating through a complex maze of an existence that wasn’t here, but I knew it – it felt familiar. At one point, I was standing on a terrace overlooking this very busy city, in this foreign “land.” Suddenly, from next to me, I heard, “There is nothing that says you must stay on the path to get to where you’re going, by following its twists and turns… following the rules that we all have made.” It was then I looked towards the voice and realized that it was Krishna standing next to me; and thus, at that moment I realized that it was Krishna’s dimension/Universe that I was “visiting” – the same one I had seen last year, when I had “visited” for the first time in Shamballa class. He looked towards the destination I sought, and continued, “To get to your destination, you can simply decide to plow straight ahead, in the simplest and quickest way possible. Create your own path; it is completely your choice, in your control.”

And so I did, to finish what I realized was my exercise, before I came back to here and the end of my acupuncture session.

Subsequently, in meditation, I kept on getting signals about the trip being a huge turning point for me, starting the “next phase” – whatever that is – and that I would get to the same place down the path eventually, either way… but that this would be much more of a “straight line” to get to where I desire to go.

So did the same friend who had gotten the “messages” for me.

Three days later, I went into meditation with a completely different intention… and there was our blue-skinned friend, with more enigmatic words of wisdom, including those introducing this post.

Though I had decided I would find a way to go, plans seemed to start forming on their own in my head. It was only about 2 weeks ago that the thought popped in, “It might be a consideration to drive out to New Mexico…” This was yet another completely foreign thought to me, as I’m typically the one to get from Point A to Point B as quickly as possible.

However, as soon as the thought crossed my mind, other plans started falling into place. Places I’d want to stop, people I’d want to see, things I’d want to do. I looked at my calendar; out of the entire of month of May, the week surrounding the 2-day retreat was the only week I could manage to take such a trip.

Though I have asked a few people if they would like to join me, it really was half-hearted, because I generally feel like this is a journey I’m supposed to take on my own. Quite a few people have marveled that I would consider doing this by myself; however, I wonder why I would even consider doing it any other way! This road trip is giving me the opportunity to find myself… or more accurately, get away from the day-to-day energies of the mundane to help me find out who I’m becoming, about what it is that is I AM as I start to push my way out of the transformative cocoon into which I figuratively entered not 18 months ago, as I began all of this all-intensive work. Without going into further detail (probably about 5 more blog posts worth), there are many, many pointers and messages telling me that I’m on the edge of the cliff, about to leap off into the swan dive necessary to enter a great new adventure, the next phase of my life; however, I don’t yet know what that looks like, how that translates into our world, except that it is to help and empower others while helping and empowering myself.

And so, in 2 days I am embarking upon something rather uncharacteristic of me: I’m packing the car and hitting the road, 2/3 of the way across the country. On a literal journey – a road trip – to help me begin whatever it is that awaits me around the bend. However, right now I’m not focusing so much on the end result as the journey – something I often overlook – to experience every moment as its own, get everything I can get out of every moment, and spend some time with me.

I will be on the road with my laptop, and undoubtedly prone to blogging along the way (maybe even video blogging)… so stay tuned. Because, as they say, the journey is often just as important as the destination. And, for some reason, I feel like this is the case for my road trip… and that it will be important to share.

What am I expecting? I am completely thrilled to tell you… I don’t know. What do I expect from meeting Little Grandmother? Really, nothing. For all I know, all of the “messages” were just put there to get me to go. There are so many things I’ve been shown will be related to taking this trip, though I have no idea how… and so, off I go, giddy for the adventure, ready for just about anything.

But it will be fun, it will be refreshing…. and somehow, someway, I feel like this will help me along my way, give me some clarity, and give me the little push I need off the edge of the cliff to spread my wings and fly!