Do You Ever Feel Like This on the Inside?

You know what? Sometimes, I get angry.

Yep… it’s true!

Although these instances have become increasingly rare and less intense throughout my journey of consciousness, there have been moments when my ego’s thrown a full-on temper tantrum. It’s even happened quite recently.

Why am I sharing this? Many hold the misconception that “proper spiritual leaders/teachers” never experience anger anymore. Many others I know in this field believe we shouldn’t reveal our moments of anger publicly, fearing it might imply that we’re “doing something wrong” or that we’re not worthy of our work.

The truth is that the idea of anyone – even those who are spiritually awakened/enlightened – “never getting angry” or “having a moment” is completely false. Even the Dalai Lama himself admits to experiencing anger at times! I’ve worked with countless incredible individuals who’ve hesitated to become professional practitioners themselves, despite feeling a strong calling, simply because they judged themselves because they’d still get angry! It made them believe they were unworthy of helping others.

In my understanding, this belief is entirely untrue and stems from underlying feelings of unworthiness.

As “spiritual beings having a human experience,” we continue to have human emotions regardless of where we are on our journey of consciousness. And you know what? That helps us stay relatable and connected to those around us.

What truly matters is how we manage moments of anger, and if we utilize them as valuable tools.

For example, many people find it hard to imagine me getting angry. (LOL, If you ask my husband or my adult kids, they’ll tell you otherwise! ) Sometimes, I’ve confided in someone that I’m upset about something, and they’ve squinted their eyes at me and said, “But you don’t seem upset…”

That’s exactly the point – it’s all about how we manage these emotions. As I’ve progressed on my journey, I’ve come to realize that anger is a powerful message to myself, indicating misalignment within. If often manifests through external circumstances, acting as reflections of something I’ve been hiding from or denying within myself. This is an element of what we call Shadow work, and it’s one of the most productive forms of self-exploration.

The first step I take as soon as I feel anger bubbling up is to pause and take a step back. That single moment makes a significant difference, when we shift our energy from a compulsion to react to objective observance instead. So, when I start to notice it, I take a deep breath and, if possible, create some space for myself.

Anything triggering my anger is solely mine. It never has anything to do with the other person or situation. In fact, it’s ALWAYS an opportunity for me to uncover something I’ve not been addressing within myself!

Consequently, my commitment is to never project my anger onto anyone else. I can be angry with someone, but I always take full responsibility for my own emotions. Instead of blaming others with language like “You’re a jerk because you did this,” if I say anything at all, I might express my feelings by saying something like, “I feel like ______ when this happens…” followed by an acknowledgment that I need to examine it and understand why it triggers me so much.

This approach prevents me from launching “energetic arrows” at others by projecting my anger onto them instead of recognizing it as a message from within myself. When I have the opportunity, I turn to meditation and inner work and personify the anger, inviting it in like a guest, to show me what it’s there to teach me. Sometimes, it steps aside without entering, revealing a thread of truth that guides me towards self-responsibility.

Of course, this practice takes time and commitment, but it’s transformed my anger into a powerful tool for inner growth. Once I stopped judging anger as “bad” and began viewing it as an important message from the ego, I started utilizing it for profound self-reflection. It’s a highly productive process!

Recently, I experienced some shifts that triggered my ego to have some meltdowns, and internally, it felt much like the image you see here. I applied the same principles repeatedly. When I felt it bubbling up, I found a safe space and told my ego, “Okay, go ahead. You have ________ (an amount of time) to express everything. Get it all out, and then we’ll have a conversation…”

I allowed those emotions to burn through me without projecting onto anyone, not even myself; when I allow it in this confinement, it can be quite liberating, and feel like a massive release! I’d journal furiously, mumble to myself, cry, and even discuss it with a select few who understand my process. As I observed, it was as if I was searching every nook and cranny, under every rock, exploring the root of it all.

The result? I uncovered hidden pieces of myself, bringing them to light, coming to see them without judgment, embracing those pieces, welcoming them back into the fold, and ultimately coming to gratitude for the entire experience. It led to tremendous release and profound transformation!

The bottom line is that from a consciousness perspective, anger isn’t to be judged as “bad.” It simply IS, just like every other emotion. Once we learn how to manage it as a productive tool for self-responsibility, it often burns fast, causing no harm, and can reveal essential revelations about ourselves, propelling us forward on our path in resolution.

To all those on the seeking path, remember that there’s no shame in experiencing anger. However, denying, ignoring, or projecting it onto others limits our growth.

ALSO follow Solving Me Podcast, a weekly podcast I do with Sarah Avignone… we even have an episode coming up on anger the week of July 10th!